Azabar Daren Farko:
Daren farko na aure ya kasance wani dare ne mai matukar muhimmanci ga amarya da ango, duk da cewa cike yake da fargaba, jin kunyar juna, dama kuma jindaɗi ga sababbin ma'aurata. Daren ranar farko na cike da farinciki da annashuwa na shiga sabon babin rayuwa. Sai dai kash! wasu amaren suna tsoron azabar daren farko, baku da laifi kunsan ance dama Allah ɗaya gari banbam domin kuwa wasu ma'auratan kan sha dadi a wannan lokaci wasu kuwa kan fuskanci ƙalubale da wahala a wannan lokaci.
Kafin dai in wuce ina yi muku lale maraba da shigowa wannan shafin ilimi nawa kuma zanyi bayani dalla-dalla dangane da azabar daren farko, dalilan dake kawo azabar daren farko, yadda amarya zata shawo kan matsalar, da kuma hanyoyin da ya kamata amarya da ango subi domin tabbatar da cewa daren farkonsu ya kasance mai cike da daɗi da kuma kwanciyar hankali.
Menene dalilin da yasa Daren Farko yakan zama mai wahala ne?
Abubuwa da dama sukan iya kawo azabar daren farko wasu daga cikin waɗannan abubuwa ko nace dalilai sun haɗa da:
(*) Tsoro Da Fargaba
Da yawa daga cikin sababbin ma'aurata musamman amare kan ji tsoro da fargaba saboda rashin sanin menene yake wakana a daren farko na aure, shiyasa koda yaushe yana da kyau ku zaunar da yarinyanku kuyi mata bayani, gameda abinda yake faruwa a wannan dare. Idan ma kuna jin kunyar sanar da ita to ku hadata da tsofaffi domin su sunga jiya kuma sunga yau, Babu ruwansu da kunya.
Abu na biyu wanda ka iya kawo azabar daren farko shine jin kunya domin kuwa koda amarya ko ango yana jin wahala musamman lokacin jima'i, tofa kunya na hana ta nuna jin raɗaɗi ko azaba yayin saduwar. A wannan bangare kuma zance yana da kyau ku bi a hankali a wannan dare saboda ku samu cikakken nishadi da annashuwa. Idan da hali ki cewa angonki "sweetheart kabi a hankali kasan ni sabuwa ce" amma fa cikin shagwaɓa. Ni dai nasan cewa angonki yana sonki dan haka zai biki a hankali.
(*) Ciwo Lokacin Jima'i
Wannan na iya cewa ƙarin bayani ne ga maganar da nayi a sama domin kashi casa'in na azabar daren farko mata suka fi jinta, musamman lokacin jima'i domin kuwa shine karon farko, za su iya jin ciwo da zafi saboda rashin santsi dake a gabansu wato a matse suke saboda kasancewar budurci.
Idan amarya da ango ya kasance basu fahimci junansu yadda ya kamata ba, tofa hakan ma na iya taka rawa wajen azabar daren farko domin kuwa idan amarya bata fahimci ango ba kuma tasan halinsa ba, to fa na rantse ba zata iya nuna masa irin azabar da take ji ba lokacin saduwa, haka zalika shima ta bangaren angon. Ku sani cewa koda baku faɗa da baki ba, to in dai miji ya fahimci matarsa to yana iya gane tana jin daɗi ne ko kuma tana shan wahala. Idan kuma ka tursasa ko kika tursasa to hakan na iya kawo rashin fahimtar juna a tsakaninku.
(*) Rashin Lafiya
Babu shakka rashin lafiya zai iya kawo azabar daren farko, musamman ga mata domin matsalolin bushewar gaba ko rashin kuzari a wajen namiji na iya sa daren farko ya kasance mai wahala. Yana da kyau ayi amfani da magunguna a gyara amarya kafin a kaita gidan miji saboda gujewa azaba da wahala wacce ka iya kawo kuka a daren farko.
Wasu daga cikin abubuwan dake iya ƙara Azabar Daren Farko
A wasu yankunan ƙasar Hausa, akwai ra’ayoyi daban daban marasa kyau gameda daren farko, wanda idan ba'a sakaye wasu ra'ayoyin ba to hakan na iya ƙara tsoratar da ma’aurata.
(*) Shiga ba tareda an shirya ba
Iyayen amarya da iyayen ango, ki kimtsa ɗiyarku da kyau, ya kasance a shirye ta shiga ɗakinta, domin rashin shirin ba iya azabar daren farko ba na iya haifar da gajiyawa, damuwa, ko rashin jindaɗin saduwar gaba ɗaya a yayin daren farko.
(*) Budurcin ya mace
Matsalolin da suka shafi kawar da budurcin amarya na iya kawo damuwa musamman ga angwaye, domin wasu sun sha jin labarin cewa kawar da budurcin amarya akwai wahala to tun kafin ma a shiga daren wani ya riga daya sare, suma kuma ta bangaren matan hakan ne domin wasu an sha tsoratasu da labarin "akwai wahala" "akwai zafi" Wanda hakan na iya zaunar da firgici a zuciyar amarya ko kuma angon.
Hanyoyin da ya kamata abi domin kawar da azabar daren farko.
Yin kyakkyawan shiri
Ma’aurata ya kasance kun shirya kanku ta kowane ɓangare domin kaucewa duk wata damuwa a ranar farko, wato idan da hali ma, ku yi magana a tsakaninku kan yadda zaku shawo kan fargaba da rashin natsuwa tun kafin ma akai ga daren farko. Nasan za'a ce kunya- komai hausawa kunya- wata ran kunya sai ta kashe ki. Eh' na sani tunda sabon aure ne za'a ji kunya amma kunya zata kawo cikas kuma har ki haɗu da zazzafan azabar daren farko Allah Ubangiji ya fitar dake lafiya.
A kwantar da hankali
Yana da muhimmanci sosai tun a kaiki ɗakin mijinki ki tabbatar da cewa kima cikin yanayi na kwanciyar hankali. Domin idan kika shiga ba kwanciyar hankali to fa dama dole ne ko samu fargaba mai yawa.
Amfani da man Santsi wato (Lubricants)
Wannan aikinka ne ango, domin nuna kauna da son amaryarka zaka iya shigowa da mai, akwai su kala kala wanda zaka ragewa matarka duk wata wahala ta azabar daren farko, domin suna ƙara santsi da kuma baka damar shiga cikin sauki. Kuma matarka zata ji daɗin tarawa da kai ba tare da wata wahala ba.
A koyar da mata ilimin jima'i musamman a islamiyya domin tabbatuwar zaman aurensu, domin yin karatu ko samun bayanai daga wajen masana yana taimakawa wajen rage rashin sani gameda sha’anin jima’i da kuma rage duk wani tsoron azabar daren farko, domin amarya zata gane cewa ba wai abu ne wanda kullum idan mijinta yazo tarawa da ita zata dinga ji ba, wato abu ne na lokaci kuma zai wuce.
Idan yarinyarku tana fuskantar matsalar rashin lafiya, yana da kyau a tuntuɓi likita domin samun magani ko shawara tun kafin a kai ga daren ta na farko wato dai ina nufin kar aje kuma zaman auren yaƙi yiwuwa, sai a kiyaye sannan a nemi shawarar masana da kyau.
Hanyoyin kaucewa duk wata azaba da wahala a Daren Farko.
Daren farko ba lokaci ne na takura ko muzgunawa ba, lokaci ne na farinciki da kuma kwanciyar hankali ga ma'aurata. Ku Fahimci junanku, ka fahimci matarka yadda ya kamata kuma ki fahimci mijinki sosai, domin samun daidaito mai ɗorewa a tsakaninku.
Abu komai a sannu
Daren farko ba lokacin gaggawa bane, in dai ana son danne duk wata azabar daren farko, wato idan zaka shiga amarya kabi a sannu, kasha daɗi har ka ajiye na gobe, kema amarya ki bi mijinki a sannu sannan ki nuna kinji daɗin saduwa dashi hakan zai ƙara masa kuzari da son kasancewa dake a koda yaushe.
Yana da kyau ango ya kasance mai bayar da goyon baya da kuma kwantar da hankalin amarya, haka kuma itama macen ta kasance mai taimako wajen gina kyakkyawar zamantakewa ga mijinta.
Amarya koda anzo da yan'uwa an ɓata dakin, to kiyi kokari kafin ango ya shigo ki ɗan kimtsa ɗakin, kar kije ki zaune a gado kina jira kawai a kawo kaza ki hau ci. Ki sanya dakin ya kasance mai tsabta, kamshi, da kyau wanda hakan zai haɓaka jindaɗi da soyayyarku a daren farko.
Ka yiwa Allah da Annabi ango kar kabar yarinyar mutane da jira har tsakar dare, sabida yarinyar nan ba wanda ta sani sai kai, musamman ma idan kaje wata uwa duniya kayi aure, domin shi kanshi jira wani azabar daren farko ne saboda amarya zata zauna cike da fargaba ne kawai. Kuma yana da muhimmanci ku kasance masu karɓar juna tareda nunawa junanku soyayya.
Daren farko na iya kasancewa dare mai wahala amma tareda shiri mai kyau za'a iya maganin duk wata azabar daren farko, musamman ta fuskar fahimtar juna, nutsuwa, da kuma gane farincikin juna. Ma’aurata sabon aure ku tabbatar kun tattauna da junanku cike da soyayya kafin gudanar kowane lamari a daren farko. Kuma koda yaushe ku kasance masu goyon bayan juna domin rage azabar daren farko da zata iya rage muku farinciki a wannan rana.
Ku tuna cewa soyayya tana buƙatar hakuri, domin samun zaman aure mai ɗorewa, hakan kuwa zai samu tushe ne tun ranar daren farkonku.
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